Blog.

I love to write, and it really helps me process my thoughts, in a sort of stream-of-consciousness-leading-to-pool-of-clarity way. I'd even go as far as saying I feel like God speaks to me most clearly while I'm writing.

However, writing, and specifically writing blogs, will never be a satisfying substitute for an actual relationship with God. As someone once said (more or less), 'it's easier to know about God than to actually know Him.'

And it really is - God is elusive, unpredictable, uncontainable, surprising, and a whole host of other things. I might even add frustrating to that list, and not just in a holy sense of frustrating my limited and fallen expectations and desires, though He surely does that too. On the other hand, learning about the stuff of God - the Christian life, the philosophy of His Kingdom, theology, biblical criticism, etc. is infinitely easier. Not to say that God is absent from these things, or doesn't speak through these things, but I think you can understand what I mean when I say it's easier to get hold of God's stuff than God Himself.

Anyway, I suppose the question this all comes down to is am I willing to settle for less than the relationship I was created to be in? Can I get by on God stuff and not God? Will I try to? The answer to all of these can often be 'yes', at least initially. But there's some sort of homing-beacon or holy magnet in my chest that just won't let things stay that way, thankfully. Perhaps the Holy Spirit?

God's stuff - easier to get, but ultimately dissatisfying; God Himself - often difficult to find, but worth every struggle that may come along the way. Yay!

O God, you are my God,
Earnestly I seek you;
My soul thirst for you,
My body longs for you,
In a dry and weary land
Where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
And beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
My lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
And in your name I will lifty up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
With singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63.1-8

Don't you just love them psalms?